Easter = Jesus? Zombies? Peeps? $$$?

Yesterday, it came to my attention that we were on the very last roll of toilet paper. Being the last shopping day before Easter, one needs to weigh out whether they are willing to grab a small two-pack from the corner store or brave the insanity of Wal-Mart for the super-strap-to-the-top-of-your-car-bulk package. (both costing around $10)  Needless to say I headed off to Wal-Mart… sigh I should have wasted the money at the convenience store.

Right away as I pulled into the parking lot, I knew it was going to be hell. No empty spaces for miles, cars honking and speeding around, pedestrians running to their cars pushing shopping carts piled high with toys, clothes and candy. I hadn’t even parked yet and I was already having trouble breathing.

Finally, parked and ready to walk through the magical doors of Wal-Mart whose cutesy slogan is: “Save Money, Live Better” or as I was thinking at the moment “Die Horribly, Trying to Save”. It was complete pandemonium, empty shelves, crowded aisles, parents looking violently at those lucky enough to have found chocolate, kids screaming that they wanted the newest, coolest whatever.

So I rushed quickly to grab our butt-wipe and thought to myself while I was there I may as well see if they had the ink cartridge we need for our printer – kill two birds and all that. I was shocked upon seeing the state of the electronics department! People were actually buying things for easter like big screen TVs, Nintendo WIIs, PS3s and laptops! This is worse than christmas! My boys, both too old for the whole easter bunny schtick normally usually always got something like a new bike if they’d outgrown theirs, now as teenagers they get some money for new summer clothes – both useful things that I would have bought anyways – but nothing of this scope or cost. People are insane!!

It’s sad in a way to see shopping centers and department stores filled to bursting with people, while church parking lots look practically deserted. As a non-religious person it’s not so much that people are forgetting the origin of the holiday, but more the fact that people fully embrace any event that allows them to spend money so flamboyantly.

For my family easter was celebrated for the fact that it gave us a long weekend to enjoy family, friends and relaxation. This weekend was just that, and today I will be doing more of it by enjoying some good old fashioned zombie books – cause really wasn’t jesus the first zombie (lol) I mean no offense to anyone who is celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ today. I may not be religious myself, but I have the utmost respect for others faith and beliefs.

Happy Easter, Resurrection, La Pasqua, Ostern, Pascua (I know I’m missing a few) and to those who consider it a pagan holiday or don’t observe Easter - Happy Sunday!

Oh and believe it or not people actually celebrate Zombie Jesus Day

If you are a member of the Everyday is a Wal-Mart Day Cult – Burn, Sinners, Burn :P

© 2008-2010 Joanne Mosher of The Book Zombie. All rights reserved.


bermudaonion said...

Don't get me started on Wal-Mart. We've lived in our current location for 18 months and I've been in our local Wal-Mart exactly two times.

Vasilly said...

I can't believe people were in Walmart buying big screens! That's a shame. In my family, Easter is a huge book holiday. We fill the kids' Easter baskets with books and a few pieces of candies.

Laza said...

Going to Wal-Mart is evil. Best attempted at 3 in the morning, on a wednesday. I do miss me some super Walmart though. We don't have them in Northern VA.

Love that comic. too funny!

Nymeth said...

I think you perfectly summed it up with "people are insane" :P

And zombie Jesus day - I mean no offense either, but I laughed. A lot :P

Icedream said...

LOL! Wal-mart in general freaks me out more than zombie Jesus Day :D
I found it humorous.

naida said...

It's sad yet true, people tend to forget the true meaning of these holidays. And I don't care what anyone says, Valentine's Day is a mad up holiday! lol. Made up by the card and candy companies.

I try to avoid Walmart altogether, cuz I cant help myself while i'm in there. The DVD section always gets me.

lol about the little zombie :)
Happy Easter!


Anonymous said...

I am so thankful that I am allergic to Walmart. I so avoid that place and I hope you will soon get over your trauma. Thank you for the oh-so-cute bunny image you left me! You are TOTALLY the coolest.

Chris said...

Jesus! The O-Z! LOL..I love it...I cracked up looking at the pictures on this post. I hate walmart with a passion...seriously, hate it. I go to target if I need to do that type of shopping and even they drive me nuts sometimes! Now I'm dying to read a zombie book!

Lightheaded said...

Love the comicstrip! I love irreverent humor! Technically though Lazarus is the first zombie if I go by my bible :)

Eva said...

That IS insane! Growing up, we always got an Easter basket filled with chocolate, books, and maybe a little piece of jewelry from Claire's. And then we'd hunt for Easter Eggs, most of which had chocolate too, but some had coins (which was exciting!). Why would someone buy a huge expensive gift for Easter?!

I hate Walmart, and it drives me insane that near my house there aren't any corner stores (like Walgreens) or Target, so if I want to get toiletries, I either have to drive fifteen minutes or go to Walmart. Usually I just suck it up and do the drive.

E. L. Fay said...

I currently work as a cashier in a grocery store. (I'm a college graduate but can't find a real job with the economy. I have, however, just gotten a new full-time job that hasn't started yet.) I worked Saturday night before Easter from 7pm to 12. After 10, it was just me and one other cashier who decided to go on break at the most inconvenient time imaginable. I was stuck with a line of upwards 20 people - some with huge orders.


Jesus Christ, I wanted to kill her.

We closed at 3pm on Thanksgiving Day. The last customer I got, at 3:15, was a woman buying hair dye.

Mo from Unmainstream Mom Reads said...

This was such an awesome post! I agree completely about Walmart & Easter. My husband is Catholic, so I've used the "Jesus was the 1st zombie" argument on him many times to tease & provoke him - he calmly points out that Jesus was technically the 2nd zombie, since Lazarus was first lol

kalea_kane said...

Ahhh Walmart. The one stop nightmare! I do not understand the whole craziness with the holidays either. We do celebrate the resurrection and do some candy shopping too, but certainly the big ticket items are not what this is about.


Always a pleasure! Have a wonderful day!

B.Kienapple said...

This is a perfect antidote to the holiday crazies. I celebrated Easter by eating Chinese takeout and that was fine with me!

Ladytink_534 said...
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Mo from Unmainstream Mom Reads said...

I just had to stop in and tell you that the "Jesus Was The First Zombie" graphic is now the wallpaper on my pc's desktop :) Thanks for the funny pictures - my husband really liked the Marshmallow Bunny church!

Trish said...

Everytime I go to Wal-Mart I angrily tell my husband that I will never go back. Ever. I always do. This post was hilarious--love the peeps.

Zibilee said...

I hate Wal-Mart with a passion. Like the above poster, I always say I'll never go back, but I do. The stores are crowded and messy, the staff is unhelpful and lazy, and who can blame them when they get paid such crap. Oh, how I hate that store! So, so much!